Well, let me tell ya, wrestling ain’t what it used to be. Folks comin’ and goin’ like chickens in the yard. WWE releases April 2024, that’s what they call it now, all fancy-like. Back in my day, you wrestled till you couldn’t no more. But these young fellas, they jump around from one place to another.
Heard tell some folks got the boot this April. WWE departures, they say. Like that fella, Kevin Patrick, the one who talked a lot. Announcer, they called him. Guess they didn’t like his yap no more. First one out the door, they say. He was just talkin’, not even wrestlin’! Imagine that, gettin’ fired for talkin’ too much, somethin’ my ol’ man woulda never believed.
And then there’s that Jinder Mahal fella. Fancy name, that “Maharaja.” He used to be a big deal, champion and all. Posted somethin’ on that Twitter thing, all mysterious-like. Said somethin’ about his time bein’ up, or somethin’. These young folks and their twitters! Back in my day, if you had somethin’ to say, you said it to a person’s face, not to some little bird.
- Kevin Patrick – Announcer (First to go)
- Jinder Mahal – Former WWE Champion (Said somethin’ on Twitter)
Now, they got this thing called the “WWE Draft” comin’ up. End of April, they say. WWE Draft 2024. Shakin’ things up, they say. Movin’ wrestlers around like checkers on a board. Don’t make no sense to me. Why can’t they just stay put and wrestle? But what do I know? I’m just an old lady who likes to watch a good fight.
They had some other folks leave earlier too, not just in April. Ricochet, that high-flyin’ fella. People seemed to like him, cheered a lot. He left in June though, so not really April news, but still gone. WWE releases in 2024, it’s a whole list, seems like. They keep track of it all online, like it’s some kinda big farm auction. You can find out who’s gone, who’s stayin’. It’s all too complicated for me.
And then that Drew Gulak fella, they let him go in May. He was one of them cruiserweights, the small quick fellas. Said he got in trouble with that Ronda Rousey woman. Somethin’ about touchin’ her wrong. He said it was an accident, but they didn’t care. Out he went. See? Always trouble with these young folks.
WWE news spreads fast these days, even out here in the sticks. My grandson tells me all about it. He’s got that internet thing on his phone. Shows me pictures and videos. Can you believe it? Wrestling on a little screen! Used to be you had to go to the town hall to see somethin’ like that, or wait for it to come on TV once a week.
So, yeah, a lot of wrestlers ain’t with the WWE no more. WWE roster changes all the time. It’s hard to keep up. One minute they’re fightin’ on TV, the next they’re gone. Like that fella with the long hair, what was his name? Always jumpin’ off the top rope. He left too, but I can’t recall when. See? Too many comin’ and goin’ for an old lady like me to remember.
They say it’s business, this wrestling business. Gotta make money, gotta keep things fresh. But I miss the old days, when wrestlers were wrestlers, and they stayed put. Now they’re all just actors anyway, if you ask me. Too much talkin’, not enough wrestlin’.
Anyway, that’s the story as I see it. Lots of folks leavin’ the WWE, especially around April. WWE updates come and go faster than the seasons. Makes you wonder who’ll be next, you know? Who’ll be gone by the time the leaves start fallin’ again? It’s all a big ol’ mess, if you ask me, but at least it gives me somethin’ to yap about with the girls at the bingo hall.
Guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens next. This wrestling world, it’s always changin’. More than the weather around here, and that says somethin’.
